What I Unlearned After 40: The Freedom Behind 'Ova 40'

I spent my 20s and 30s trying to fit. Fit the industry mold, fit what radio wanted, fit what people expected a woman in hip-hop to sound like. By the time I hit 40, I was exhausted from squeezing myself into boxes that were never built for me in the first place. That exhaustion became the fuel for 'Ova 40' — my rap album that said everything I'd been holding back.

The first thing I unlearned: that my age was a liability. The music industry loves to act like women expire at 30, like we can't still be sharp, relevant, and hungry. I looked around and realized I had more to say now than I ever did at 25. I'd lived through loss, built businesses from nothing, survived the kind of heartbreak that changes you. Why would I hide that? So I put it all in the bars.

I also unlearned the idea that I had to choose one lane. For years, people tried to box me — are you a singer or a rapper? 'Audio Porn' is R&B, 'Ova 40' is straight rap. I'm both. I always have been. It took me four decades to stop apologizing for that and just own the full range of what I do. If you've been shrinking yourself to make others comfortable, I'm telling you now: stop. It's not worth it.

Another thing that shifted after 40: I stopped waiting for permission. I didn't wait for a label to validate 'Ova 40'. I didn't wait for someone to hand me a platform, so I built In Da Streets Radio myself. I didn't wait for publishing companies, so I started Mob Mistress Entertainment and put out The Mob Mistress Chronicles on my own terms. When you're younger, you think the gatekeepers hold all the power. When you're older, you realize you can build your own gates.

The freedom that came with age wasn't automatic — it was a choice. I had to actively let go of people-pleasing, of chasing trends I didn't believe in, of pretending my faith wasn't central to how I move. I started showing up as my whole self: the Philly-bred rapper, the singer, the entrepreneur, the woman who talks openly about mental health, the believer who doesn't preach but won't hide it either. That wholeness is what 'Ova 40' celebrates.

Here's what I want you to hear if you're in this season or coming up on it: 40 is not the end of your prime. It's the beginning of your power. You know yourself now. You've earned your voice. The world might not have been ready for you before, but you're ready for yourself now — and that's what matters. I made 'Ova 40' because I needed to hear someone say that out loud in bars, with bass, with no apology.

So if you've been sitting on something because you think you're too old, too late, or too far from where you 'should' be — I'm here to tell you that story is a lie. Your age is not your anchor. It's your advantage. Use it.